Money makes families argue at the best of times. Add grief and old grudges to the mix, and it’s no wonder one in five of us has squabbled with our loved ones about inheritance.
It seems that’s what happened to Redditor u/FantasticEagle6062, who told the members of r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here) that he’d accepted his grandmothers’ entire inheritance without splitting a cent with his father or step-siblings.
So, we thought we’d speak to Fei Chen, former investment strategist and current CEO of Intellectia AI, as well as Joseph Fresard, a lawyer at Simasko Law, about how to handle the issue.
The poster had lived with his grandmother until she died
The original poster (OP) had a difficult relationship with his father and step-siblings, who he says bullied him.
He added that neither his father nor his stepmother seemed to care about their cruel treatment, which his grandmother noticed and hated.
Because the poster’s dad didn’t like the grandmother siding with his son, the poster didn’t speak to his grandmother for years – but as soon as he could leave, OP lived with her from 17 to 23, looking after her until her “sudden” death.
“When grandma died she had a strong will in place,” OP continued.
“She left my dad $100. That was the minimum she could leave him so he couldn’t sue for the rest, which she gave to me.”
The poster got the house, some investments, and his grandmother’s remaining money. But his father and step-siblings and father are upset at his taking the full amount, claiming it amounts to disrespecting his family.
“I told him she was right and they were all monsters and that they didn’t deserve anything,” the poster ended, before asking “AITA?”.
“His legal rights are clear”
Family tensions aside, Fresard told us that “If the will or trust leaves it only to him, his legal rights are clear, and he does not have to share it with his step-siblings. It also appears that her nan’s wishes are clear, that the inheritance was for him only.”
Chen agreed, but added: “Feuds between family members over inheritances aren’t typically about money – they’re about recognition, equity, and emotional heritage.
If one member of a family, like the Redditor, has been the exclusive caregiver, there’s a deep sense of entitlement earned. But without open, honest conversations well before the will is read, assumptions build – and blow.”
Both experts agree that whenever possible, it’s both legally and morally better to discuss any will division as soon as you’ve written it up.
“If you are the recipient of an inheritance and it is causing tension, it may help for the family to meet with the attorney who drafted the plan for all to be reassured about the wishes of the decedent and their reasoning,” Fresare advised.
After all, as Chen says, “More has been lost fighting than lost through poor investing. The most underutilised estate tools are transparency, planning, and empathy.”
#Handle #Messy #Family #Inheritance #Disputes
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