A woman who gave her husband a positive pregnancy test for his birthday has revealed how the gift went down like a sack of bricks and she feels “horrible” about it.
Taking to Reddit, the 23-year-old said she found out she was pregnant three days before her husband’s 25th birthday, so she decided to wait to tell him using the positive pregnancy test as a gift.
The couple had a very low-key birthday celebration together, so she didn’t think it “would be a problem”. “If it were a big party I wouldn’t have done it, because it would’ve taken the entire focus off of him, but this was a small party, just me and him!!” she added.
“When it came for me to give him his gifts, the pregnancy test was in a small box and I told him to open it last. He was super happy with all of his gifts, and when he opened the box with the pregnancy test in it, his demeanour changed.
“He seemed upset. I asked what was wrong and he said it was ‘a stupid gift’ and ‘how could you hide something like this from me? You knew this for so long and hid it?’.”
Reddit user Famous-Ask-3105 added that her husband did say he was happy about the news, but said “the timing for me to tell him was horrible” and that “it was his birthday, not a celebration of pregnancy”.
Long story short, the couple had a fight about it and now he’s giving her the cold shoulder and very curt replies.
“I feel horrible. I didn’t think this would be a bad gift. I thought he’d love it. AITAH [am I the asshole here] for doing this? I really thought it was ok, but I’m starting to think he’s right, I shouldn’t have done this,” she asked Reddit.
The responses to her post were mostly unforgiving of her husband’s reaction. One user said: “Congratulations on the baby. Condolences on the husband.”
Another added: “I think he didn’t actually want kids.”
What should she do?
“As a couples counsellor, I honestly don’t think this is weird – it’s two people having very real, very different feelings in a big, emotional moment,” Counselling Directory member Louise Malyan told HuffPost UK.
“We can’t always predict how someone will react, even when it’s happy news. I wonder if, for him, part of the excitement was imagining being part of that first moment – taking the test together, feeling the anticipation. Being handed it as a surprise might have left him feeling a bit left out or overwhelmed.”
The point Malyan wants to get across is that both parties have “every right to their feelings”.
“A lot of the comments I’ve seen on the article are full of assumptions and judgments – but this often comes from people’s own experiences and emotions,” she explained.
“It’s so important we don’t project our own stuff onto other people’s relationships or our own partners.”
For the couple who are at odds over the pregnancy reveal, the counsellor said what matters now is “honest, kind communication”.
In situations like this it can be best to sit down and share how it feels for each of you, using “I” statements like “I felt… when”. This is better than blaming, which can lead to defensiveness and an “inability to hear, feel heard and understood”.
“It’s those open, non-judgemental conversations that bring people back together,” she added.
“Situations like this happen more often than people realise, and with a little understanding, couples can absolutely work through them, reconnect and become stronger because of it.”
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