There’s been a growing movement addressing a male loneliness epidemic for some time now – and rightly so.
Research suggests millions of men are experiencing loneliness but suffering in silence. An estimated eight million men feel lonely at least once a week, whilst for nearly three million it’s a daily occurrence, according to The Jo Cox Commission on Loneliness.
Since the eye-opening stats were published in 2017, men have opened up about the reality of their diminished friendship circles. Last year, columnist Jean Guerrero even suggested the epidemic of loneliness is hitting men hardest as “men are less skilled than women at making friends”.
But it isn’t just men who are struggling. Loneliness is an everyone problem.
For some young women, it’s particularly pervasive. Recent polling for The Belonging Forum suggested that roughly half of young women aged 18-24 feel lonely compared to 29% of the general population.
Motherhood is also incredibly isolating. One survey suggested a whopping 90% of mums had felt lonely since giving birth.
“People from the outside cannot see the loneliness”
Grace Carter, a reviewer at UKWritings.com, told HuffPost UK she’s “absolutely” felt the “gap” between how she expected her social life to look at the reality
“There are days and even weeks where my only substantial interactions happen randomly or through digital means which gradually takes its toll,” she shared.
Dr Ashwini Nadkarni, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, said this is common.
“Some of the structures of social connection have declined (eg. smaller households, marital status) but also technology … has displaced our in-person interactions,” she told us.
Riani Kenyon, anthropologist at Canvas8, labels this divide between digital connection and real-life “ambient loneliness”.
“Whether it’s AI companions or endless scrolling on social feeds, people are searching for intimacy in digital spaces, which can offer a sense of control and safety, but often at the expense of true connection,” the anthropologist said.
Carter said the digital disconnect can lead to a confusing double life, too.
“My days consist of staying occupied while I maintain contact with friends through messages and share a few happy pictures,” she said.
“Beneath everything, there exists a silent yearning because I no longer experience the closeness and community feeling that used to be more natural and consistent.”
Knowing she feels lonely but presenting as a social, engaged friend online presents a problem for her, she said: “The difficulty lies in how people from the outside cannot see the loneliness that exists.”
It’s not a personal, or a gendered, failing
Though Dr Nadkarni said “men may be less likely to acknowledge their loneliness or seek help for it,” both experts agree the problem applies to all genders.
“Research shows that over the past 20 years, social isolation has increased, and social participation and close friendships have declined,” the assistant professor said.
“Ultimately, loneliness is not just a personal issue, it is a cultural one,” Kenyon added.
“We need to reframe connection as a collective responsibility and explore how technology, spaces, and systems can help us feel less alone, not just more online.”
This may be reassuring for people like Carter, who said: “You begin to doubt whether the problem lies within yourself or if your needs exceed what others can provide.
“When other women express similar emotions to mine I understand that this feeling exists not only within me, but within many of us.”
#Men #Arent #Loneliness #Epidemic
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