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Think before you speak, Danish


SLOUGH, ENGLAND:

Are you a misogynist lamenting that patriarchy is slowly falling out of fashion? Well, your moment of panic is over. Put away those smelling salts, because Danish Taimoor has arrived to save the day. Going on national television during a Ramazan transmission for maximum reach, Danish – also known as the husband of A-lister Ayeza Khan – reminded us all that, as a Muslim man, he is allowed to hoard up to four wives without anyone batting an eye.

“The permission to men for four marriages has been granted, but I am not doing it ‘filhal’,” boasted the Ishq Hai actor. “That’s a different story.”

Love and respect

Perhaps you are a man with similar sentiments, or a woman surrounded by men with similar sentiments, and are bewildered about what is stopping Danish from filling the remaining three slots, what with the fact that he has full permission to do so and all. The answer, you misguided unromantic fools, is simple: Danish is a very modern man filled with utmost love and respect for his wife (who was observing the spectacle from a nearby sofa in the same transmission). We know Danish feels this way because he told us so, in almost those exact words.

“I won’t do it because I love and respect my wife, even though I still have the right,” explained Danish, squeezing in that final reminder about his rights in this area.

Whether these words are a publicity stunt carefully garnered to gain traction during a Ramazan transmission or whether these are Danish’s actual beliefs is not what is up for debate here. What is incontestable is that, married as he is to one of the most successful women in Pakistani showbiz, there is no reason Danish should not be overflowing with all this love and respect.

He and Ayeza, one of Pakistan’s most-followed celebrities, have enjoyed an Insta-worthy picture-perfect relationship since 2014. They are parents to two children. They both have flourishing careers. Television shows like Noor Jahan spent a large chunk of 2024 demonstrating in painful detail all the niggling problems that arise with men acquiring multiple wives.

And yet, for whatever purpose, Danish, who does not seem to have taken the teachings of Noor Jahan to heart, sees fit to point out that he does not need to limit himself to just Ayeza. Ayeza may be one of the country’s most famous financially independent women, but even she has to be content with being relegated to ‘filhal’ status by her man.

We know her man is not restraining himself for her dinner-making skills, because Ayeza has already told all her followers in an Instagram Story last month that she has no interest in cooking. In the same Story, however, she did tell us that what she lacks in the kitchen, she makes up for by knowing a thing or two about table decor. Still, Danish can rest at ease; the day Ayeza’s table decor skills take a dip, or the moment her star power begins to dim, he is free to put her on the back burner and begin his search in earnest for his backup. Because lest we forget, as he has reminded us, “I still have the right.” The option remains alive at the back of his mind, there for the taking should the moment arise.

Is anyone impressed?

In a move that may surprise Danish but almost nobody else (including, probably, the unfortunate Mrs Danish), social media users do not care for his Andrew Tate-like beliefs.

“Why even mention this when your wife is sitting right there? This was uncomfortable to watch,” said one commenter on Facebook. In an oft-repeated sentiment, another similarly unimpressed user pointed out, “Men always remember their right to marry four times, but they conveniently forget the conditions.”

This is certainly true. Danish is not alone in forgetting that the four-wives mandate came about to solve the very real social problem of an exponentially increasing number of women being left widowed as their husbands carelessly perished in battle. We can safely assume that rescuing widowed women from penury is not on Danish’s agenda should he ever exercise his ‘rights’, because he would have wasted no time in letting us know if this was the case.

At this juncture, we must note that not all social media users are so quick to censure Danish and his backup solution. Apologists, too, male and female alike, have come out to fill the comments section with their views. “What he said isn’t wrong. There is no denying it. Nobody can stop him. To each their own,” wrote one commenter.

Well, of course no one can stop Danish from doing what he wants. Danish is not the first man to reduce his wife to ‘filhal’ status, and after his latest public musings, he certainly won’t be the last.

An undying patriarchy

Danish’s insistence on repeating that he has the right to obtain more wives at a whim – or rather, until the day the love and respect he holds for his existing wife reaches its expiration date – is mired in a patriarchy that continues to degrade women at the expense of boosting a man’s already inflated ego.

It is the same patriarchy that is reduced to either fits of hysteria or an irritable ‘Come on Aunty’ every time a woman attempts to parallel park in public – because in gender-assigned roles, manoeuvring a car is beyond a woman’s remit. Conversely, no one would dream of tutting and muttering ‘Come on Uncle’ if a man attempts to fry samosas and produces a pale, soggy mess instead of uniformly golden triangles.

Adorned with praise, perhaps, but never mocked for treading into these unchartered waters. To recap: when a man squeezes a car into a tiny space, he can cock an eyebrow and say, “Bet you could never do that”, but when a woman boasts in similar fashion about her golden samosas, it doesn’t carry quite the same sting.

Why these double standards continue to thrive is no mystery. Double standards exist because our long-standing faithful friend, patriarchy, dictates it. But perhaps in 2025, is time for patriarchy to calm down – after all, men may have had neither the time nor the inclination to cook dinner in the days they carried heavy war gear on horseback, but the average modern man spends his working hours attending meetings on Teams in a chair with good lumbar support.

Like the woman who also endures these meetings throughout her career, a man, too, should be perfectly capable of engaging in so-called ‘women’ tasks without expectation of praise. And while he is at it, he can also wave goodbye to his dreams about procuring more wives when he still hasn’t quite figured out what to do with one. But as Danish proved with his public devotion to his fantasy four wives, that day continues to remain on hold. Filhal.

#speak #Danish

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